Adventures of a Misspent Youth

- May 7 -

I tried my hardest not to think about this all day and as i’m writing this, I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe i’m an awful person for not wanting to acknowledge the day the most beautiful person i’ve ever known was born, but it’s still hard to accept he’s not here for me to celebrate with.  Sometimes you think you have a plan for your life. You think you know what the future may be like. To imagine having any of that, with one of your best friends erased from the picture is really hard. There are so many times I hear a song, or have amazing things happen, or see something funny and I still want to call him to tell him about it, but I know he can’t answer. I believe that if I talk, he can hear me from heaven-but it doesn’t fill the emptiness I have for him not answering back. Death is so fucking weird. 1 day you’re taking silly pictures with your best friend and the next you get a phone call saying he never woke up that morning. I don’t get it. I would sell my soul to the devil, if he’d let me see him one last time. I just want to hug him and listen to him laugh, see him smile, watch him dance-I just want this emptiness inside my heart to go away. I love you Teo Kapp. Happy 25th Birthday to you <3

I tried my hardest not to think about this all day and as i’m writing this, I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe i’m an awful person for not wanting to acknowledge the day the most beautiful person i’ve ever known was born, but it’s still hard to accept he’s not here for me to celebrate with. 

Sometimes you think you have a plan for your life. You think you know what the future may be like. To imagine having any of that, with one of your best friends erased from the picture is really hard. There are so many times I hear a song, or have amazing things happen, or see something funny and I still want to call him to tell him about it, but I know he can’t answer. I believe that if I talk, he can hear me from heaven-but it doesn’t fill the emptiness I have for him not answering back.

Death is so fucking weird. 1 day you’re taking silly pictures with your best friend and the next you get a phone call saying he never woke up that morning. I don’t get it. I would sell my soul to the devil, if he’d let me see him one last time. I just want to hug him and listen to him laugh, see him smile, watch him dance-I just want this emptiness inside my heart to go away. I love you Teo Kapp. Happy 25th Birthday to you <3

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  1. andreakelley posted this
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